DATING RULES: HOW TO DATE A MODERN INDEPENDENT SUCCESSFUL WOMAN

Gentlemen, if you are searching for that special woman, a beautiful modern  independent  successful woman who doesn’t need you for your wallet but for your heart and what you have to offer, here are the rules you MUST play by. Remember, the SACHIKA woman is fierce, she's independent and she knows what she wants. She’s got it going on & she’s happy with the life she’s built for herself.  She is seeking for a reliable & fun partner, someone to complement her, take her out and allow her to relax and enjoy herself in her down time.  She is looking for a life partner in which both of you  together will be a powerful & solid team.  She is busy and she knows the best mate for her is someone who is also busy with his own projects.

So gentlemen, if you  fit the criteria and are looking for that SPECIAL woman,  who is independent & successful, here is your guide of  DO’S & DON’TS:

Photo by Marco Sagglioco

  

                 1-GENTLEMAN

It is essential to be a GENTLEMAN. Chivalry never gets old. There is nothing worse than a man that doesn’t open the doors, pull out chairs, offer drinks, or even pay for the bill, even the smallest things like a cab ride, etc.  On the first date, the man should always pay for EVERYTHING. Yes, EVERYTHING. So if your wallet doesn’t allow you to go extravaganza, choose activities and restaurants that you can afford. No matter how great you are, if you allow her to pay, she will go home feeling worthless.  Don’t forget to tip accordingly as well because the SACHIKA woman is savvy, she notices the smallest details.  To know how to tip shows a level of class and savoir-vivre. Gratuity usually 20% in New York.

2-LEADERSHIP & INITIATIVE

      Going back to the first point, since you are the one who has to pay for everything, on the first date,  you should be the one planning as well.  You don’t have to be rich to take a woman out, there are tons of things to do at minimum costs, just be creative.  Be mindful of what she likes and doesn’t like. Always ask her first what she wants to do and leave room for spontaneity but remember to always have a plan in the back of your mind. The modern SACHIKA woman is in charge at work and in her everyday life, she is looking for a man to be MORE in charge than her, yes MORE in charge than her. When the waiter comes, ask her what she wants and order for her. Make her feel like you can take care of her.  Planning the evening (even just suggesting where to go etc) shows that you’ve put some minimum thought into making the evening unforgettable and shows early signs of LEADERSHIP & INITIATIVE which are attractive masculine qualities. Be confident. Confidence is sexy.

     3-CONVERSATION

The initial conversation is primordial. It sets the tone of the relationship. First, this should be a conversation, an exchange of words & opinions between the two of you. Both of you should be equally engaged into talking, asking questions back and forth. There is nothing worse than a man that keeps talking about himself: this will make him look self-centered.  This is your chance to score points: ask her what she likes, what she doesn’t like, take note. Listen attentively to her answers. It is very important to listen. If anyone has to talk more, it would  have to be her. Again, a man that talks too much is unattractive. You should be able to answer her questions truthfully, shortly  and concisely. Not too many details, just enough and always ask her back. Remember eye contact is important. While she’s talking, look into her eyes to see what truly touches her, etc. Do not talk about your ex-girlfriend/wife.  No matter how great or bad she was, this conversation is about both of you TODAY. Reserve your “baggage” conversation for later dates. Thank you.

 4-SENSE OF HUMOUR

The modern SACHIKA woman is busy, always on the go therefore, when she’s with a man she wants to feel relaxed and happy. Having a sense of humor really helps. It makes the whole evening lighter, more fun. Laugh easily at yourself, don’t take yourself too seriously and go with the flow. Make her laugh (don’t try too hard) but even when conversing about something serious, make sure to throw 1 or 2 funny comments, to lighten the whole conversation. If you can make her laugh, you’ve earned points. She likes to feel happy and to enjoy her time. Laughing & smiling also relaxes the atmosphere. Smile! A happy man is so much attractive.

5-APPEARANCE

First impressions do matter. Again, you’re the one who chose the venues and what to do, therefore you should dress accordingly. Do not overdress, this is not prom night or a black tie gala, this will make you look desperate. A desperate man is not attractive. On the other hand, do not under dress, this will make you look like you don’t care. Make sure you wear fresh, clean clothes. Make sure you wear deodorant (you should at all times anyways), you smell good (no cologne is better than bad heavy cologne) and chew gum. Clean hands with clean nails especially if you plan on putting your hands on her waist!!! Nothing is worse than a non-fresh breath or  bad breath. This will not entice her to kiss you or get closer to you. Bottom line: check your breath. 

 6-COMPLIMENTS

We are not saying you should shower her with compliments the entire night, actually that would be a big no. The key is to be sincere. If you find her attractive, funny etc, do not hesitate to let her know, don’t hold back. A few sincere compliments here and there can be really appreciated and will confirm to her that you like her. If the feelings are mutual, it will entice her to compliment you in return and perhaps show you that she does like you too.

      7-BODY LANGUAGE

Pay attention to her eyes, a woman will look straight into your eyes for at least 5 seconds without hesitation if she likes you. Also when she likes what she sees she will tend to tilt her head when looking at you or listening to you. Now all of you gentlemen love to touch what you like. Be aware of your body language and hers. You have to know her limits and to know the limits, you have to test & pay close attention.  Once the eye contact has been made, you can perhaps put your hands on her waist. Be receptive, notice her reaction. If she leans towards you or smile back, she is okay with that. If she leans away or pushes your hand away than you know not to do it again. As you get further along during the evening, if she puts her hands around your shoulders or touches your shoulders or arms, she’s giving you the green light to touch her. If she puts her hands on your thighs, she is  most likely sexually attracted to you. Just keep all of those in mind, there are no right or wrong in when  to kiss or to become intimate with a woman as you must go with the flow but SACHIKA suggests , considering the date went well, to end it with a kiss leaving her wanting more for the next date. A lady knows not to give too much on the first date and a gentleman respects a lady. 

8-ATTENTION & FOCUS

How did it take you to book this date with her? Remember she’s a busy woman  and most likely, she has plenty of admirers and candidates willing to take her out, yet she chose to go on date with you. The same way she’s devoting her attention and focus on you while she’s with you, you should make her feel special while with her. No cell phones. Put it on silent/vibration mode. If you have to make a call, excuse yourself. All men have wandering eyes, yes you are still single and you’re a man. Before you go on a date, switch your gear and shift all your attention on her. Do not look at other women while with her. This is a deal breaker.  Your mission is to make sure she leaves with a smile and wondering when she will see you next.

 9-LONG-TERM PLANS

Before you end the night, see where things can go by talking perhaps about a second date. A good  way to introduce the subject is to ask her if she has been to --------- or tried-------- ----or does she like--------------  so you can introduce " well next time we can do this, that, etc."   Do not talk about boyfriend/girlfriend, marriage (even just the topic), children too early on. Leave room for those deeper conversations next time. A SACHIKA woman, is independent, she wants love but does not want to feel trapped.  Besides, until you are confirmed for a second date, you don’t want to divulge too much too early on. You don’t want to look like an emotional wreck either as it is not masculine nor attractive. You want to appear sweet, genuine, interested and caring.  Those qualities will open up new doors.Don't forget, if you've suggested an activity and she agreed, by all means, follow up. A man is worth his words. Keep your word. This brings us to the last point.

 10-FOLLOW-UP

If you've discussed future date or plans, please follow up. Don't make her bring it up. You must follow through...especially if you want to close the deal !!! Also, after a wonderful evening, make sure you bring her back home safe. Get her a cab or give her a ride home. Call her or text her as soon as you get home to make sure she is fine and thank her for a wonderful evening. Attention to details. Those details really matter, they show you care. If you had a good time with her, make sure she knows by telling her and also asks her if she got home safe. A woman wants to feel protected and secure. Nowadays, everyone uses text message. By calling her you are showing extra care and attention. If she likes you, she wants to hear the sound of your voice.  Don't forget to call at appropriate hours. Late nights calls ring with booty calls.

Are you ready for A SACHIKA WOMAN ?

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