Sunday, March 29, 2009
Why can't my boyfriend and my twin sister get along???
Now that we are both single, I look back and analyze the history of our dating lives...and noticed something very strange: none of our ex boyfriends got along well with "the other twin "...
This is quite interesting because you would think that if a man wants to be in my life, he would want to win over my family's heart and this would include ( if not essential) winning over my twin sister's heart!...Nope, none of my exes really appreciated my sister and my sister's ex boyfriend did not like me either. Come to believe, is there a rivalry or sense of competition between two people who are both very important in ours lives?
First, it has been proven that romantic relationships with a twin are usually complex because the closeness between the twins can seem like a barrier to the relationship. The fact is, the closeness between twins can rarely be matched and very often the significant other does not feel as important as the twin.
In our case, my twin sister and I have always been very independent from one another.We attended different colleges, different programs, had separate jobs, basically had VERY separate lives...The people at our jobs didn't know we each had a twin! When I had a boyfriend, I would spend a lot of time alone with him and most of the time, he would only see me and would only hear/see my sister only at special occasions (a birthday, Xmas, etc). However, I've often been reproached by my twin sister for neglecting her and for being too much "into my man". For my part, I always believed that dating a twin should be no different than dating a regular, non-twin person. You are dating one person and each person, regardless of who else they may be related to, is an individual. And so I always felt torn between those two people that I really love. If I spent too much time with my then-boyfriend, my sister would think I was leaving the rest of the world out and that I was in my own bubble. If I spent some time with my sister, my boyfriend(now ex) would complain and say that I'm not ready for a real relationship. He even sarcastically said that I should consider " marrying my twin sister"...whoa! This has always been a problem and it was always difficult for me to cope with because no matter what I did, I was often left with a feeling of guilt. On the other hand, my twin sister's ex boyfriend did not like me because he thought I was "mistreating" my sister and being selfish. When me and her would fight she would confide to him, he would get emotional and then he would give me the cold shoulder. Geez!!!... He basically started acting like her twin!
Ever since we moved to NY together, we got closer because we only had each other when we moved here. It allowed us to spend much more time together and made us realize and that we actually form an amazing team when it comes to work. My sister and I now run our company (www.SACHIKA.com)and we are involved in several other projects together. We are now basically together every day. Ambition and career is what really brought us closer.
We now know that we are the best business partners for each other!!
Do you think this situation would hinder our future relationships? How would you feel dating a twin who is working everyday with her sister? Under such circumstances, would you feel a rivalry? Would you feel threatened by the bond that I have with my twin sister ? Any piece of advice to better our future relationships?